'My 24-year battle with anorexia'

"THE fear of eating is greater then the fear of dying".

These are the haunting words of a fragile woman who has suffered with a severe eating disorder for 24 YEARS.

Natali Butt, from Maidenbower, has had Anorexia Nervosa since the age of 15.

Now, the 39-year-old is speaking out against the "one-size-fits-all treatment" that is handed out to sufferers.

She told the News: "This condition is serious, it is massively important that the stigma is taken away.

"There have been times when I have sat in my kitchen late at night totally petrified, convinced I was going to die.

"No-one knows how scary and lonely that feeling is until you have experienced it. I was willing myself to eat, but I couldn't. The illness wouldn't let me.

"Anorexia is a bullying torment that sits in your body punching and punching away.

"It is not a one-size-fits-all illness, but it is tackled with a one-size-fits-all treatment programme. This is wrong."

Natali is now attempting to change perceptions of the illness, and will soon appear on Sky TV talking about her constant struggle.

She said: "I wanted to get the message out.

"I am literally starving. I would love to be able to go out and have lunch with my friends. I would love to eat properly, but my illness stops me

"I don't look in the mirror and see a fat person. I do not detest food. I do feel hungry, I am not depressed. I do fear gaining weight but it is because of the inner torture not because of how I look.

"I do not want to be seen as a victim, I want to fight this. But in order to do that, I need the help."

Natali, who lives alone in Wheeler Road, added: "Professionals see it as a purely psychological illness, but it is not. Treatment styles have not been updated in 50 years.

"I take part in research projects which show it could be genetic or down to brain signals getting crossed."

Natali admits she faces a "daily battle" with the condition.

She said: "I get up at about 7.30am and I have to plan my day. Anything to stop me thinking about food. I wake up and I dread the day, it is no way to live.

"One of the main problems is how people see the illness. The public, patients, friends and family are all taught it is a 'choice'. But trust me, if I had a choice it would not be this one.

"I cannot help the way I am and yes, I want it to stop, but I need support, based on my individual needs."

The Secret Guide to Women's Health is on Sky Real Lives every Tuesday at 10pm.

Natali's episode will be screened on March 30.